The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM: Being Responsible While Enjoying FinDom

Responsible FinDom

FinDom; it’s wild, exciting, thrilling, and expensive! Dominants enjoy the thrill of money coming into their payment methods. Submissives long to hand over their power in the form of their hard-earned cash! It’s an exciting kink where the effects live on after the session finishes. This can be both a positive and a negative. The key to making it work for both parties is to play responsibly. I know, responsibility sounds like a drag. It doesn’t scream, wild and exciting fun, BUT it’s important. No one enters into a play session wanting to actually get ‘ruined’ or have any permanent damage whether it’s to their body or their bank account. The responsibility lands on both the Domme and the Submissive. In this article I want to discuss how to play with FinDom responsibly in a way that is still thrilling and fun!

The Domme’s role in responsibility

FanDom can be freeing for both the sub and the domme.
As a Domme it’s hot watching the money come in!

It doesn’t matter what your style of Domination is, as a Dom(me) you still have to make sure you play responsibly with your Submissives. Whether you’re a Bratty Domme, a stern Mistress, a regal Queen, a deity Goddess, or a Sweet Nurturing Domme the thrill of FinDom is the cash. It’s owning power over your Submissive by taking their money to spend on whatever you want. You might enjoy spending their cash on clothes, beauty or clothes for your pet (This is me!) but it’s not as simple as just saying “Fuck you, pay me!” and off to the shops you go. When draining a Submissive you have to take in to account their welfare.

Be the Dom(me) they want to serve again and again! Before a drain, set a limit. Make the thrill of the game; will you drain them completely (to the subs limits)? Will you drain them slowly? Or will you make a game of it? There are so many different ways to make it exciting. There’s also the option of, when playing a RT game, if the figure goes way above the Sub’s limit, make it a “Debt contract”. Allow them to pay it off bit by bit. Make sure you get a deposit! But then agree upon an amount they can afford to pay each week to complete the game. This is a way to live the fantasy of being ‘indebted” to their Dom(me).

The Submissive’s role in responsibility

FinDom is about financial domination.
Submissives need to make sure they play with the debt fantasy without ending up in actual trouble

The responsibility of care doesn’t just fall on the Dom(me). Submissives have to play a role in care when it comes to FinDom. Your Dom(me) may say they want ‘it ALL!’ and start demanding more, more, more! But, as in any kink, you’re totally entitled to your limits. It’s very easy to get swept up in the fantasy and want to hand over all your money to your Dom(me). This is irresponsible, it is up to you to make sure that you have your rent/mortgage paid. It’s up to you to make sure that you have your bills paid and food in your kitchen. I’m all for Submissives making sacrifices, bring a packed lunch to work, stop buying those expensive Starbucks coffees and bring a thermos, buy a frozen pizza instead of ordering Dominoes!

Small sacrifices like this will mean that you have more to send your Dom(me) but will also prove to them that you are committed to making the effort for them. It’s twofold. The biggest responsibility a Submissive has is to be honest with your Dom(me). Be honest about how much you can send and how often! And please, for the love of God, communicate with your Dom(me). Don’t just ghost them. It’s rude. If you have an unexpected bill or need a break, just say it! It’s basic manners. A simple “I’m sorry but right now I can’t afford to serve you, but I will return when I can. I don’t want to waste your time” is perfect to let your Dom(me) know what’s going on.

So, enjoy FinDom to the fullest! Push your limits and find new and inventive ways to enjoy it. Get creative with finding new ways to make money for your Dom(me) (Once they’re legal methods of course). Think of fun new games to play to keep it interesting for your Subs. Have fun! But make sure you play responsibly. Avoid Sub/Dom(me) drop by playing responsibly. No one wants to feel guilty after a session. They want to be excited about working towards the next one! So, Keep Calm and FinDom on!

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Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

4 responses to “The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM: Being Responsible While Enjoying FinDom”

  1. It’s all about balance. Kink is mean to be fun and enjoyable. If you’re aware of your limits and play responsibly then you don’t have such a terrible subdrop after.

  2. I would feel beyond guilty if I drained someone until they were in a damaging place financially. FinDom is for fun! It’s not meant to be detrimental to your life

  3. Sometimes I get so excited and want to send everything I have to my Mistress!!! Thankfully she makes me be honest about what I can and can’t afford.

  4. I totally agree with this. I want a long serving Sub. If they send everything to me and can’t make rent then they’ll burn out. That’s not what I’m looking for.

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