Being on my period has been a pain (both figuratively and physically). I’m so eager to get back to my “30 Day Sex Challenge”, that I’ve been researching different ways to make it even more fun! I mentioned before that sometimes my body struggles with anal intercourse. It’s just something I’ve always found uncomfortable. My fella on the other hand, loves anal. So it’s always been something I’ve tried and wanted to get better at. Turns out it’s harder than you think! It’s not a simple “follow these steps and away you go” situation. It takes planning and practice. But don’t let that word, “practice”, turn you off. When it comes to sex, “practice” just means another excuse for sexy time!
Lube is key to any sexual enjoyment. Whether it’s natural lube or from a bottle, a slick surface is so important. Especially when it comes to anal! Just when you think you have enough lube… nope, LUBE AGAIN!!! Seriously, you can never have enough lube when it comes to anal. If you need to reapply during the act, then you should! Use however much you need to in order to feel comfortable. But the type of lube you pick is also important.
I’ve bought lube before from a sex shop which had “ANAL” written across the front of it. This particular type of lube numbs you and is meant to help you when preparing for anal sex. Don’t use this! The numbing effect means that you’re not fully aware of what’s going on back there. If you want to enjoy anal you’ve got to be able to get used to the feel of it. Also, and this is more important than the sexual gratification, you need to be able to feel if there’s anything wrong (like a cut or tear)!
I’ve used anal-easing lube before and it ended with tears. It was painful once the numbing wore off. It hurt for days and I was at risk for infections. Not good! What you need to do is use regular lube (as much of it as possible) and pace yourself. Patience isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Anal stretching takes time. And if it hurts at all… STOP! It’s as simple as that.
How to get it going
There are lots of different methods to start your anal stretching prep work. Start with your fingers first then, if you want to really make it happen, introduce toys. For me fingers aren’t enough. It just doesn’t loosen me up enough for anal play. But cone shaped toys are a lifesaver! The shape is important because the initial entry isn’t the issue. I own a strap-on which is narrow at the top and gets wider as it gets to the end. This is what you want! I’ve used it as a dildo on myself before to start to ease myself into anal before trying with my partner. The trick is to gradually try getting it further and further in. It’s not the length that’s the issue, it’s the anal opening. And remember, patience!
With a cone shaped toy, it’s easier to gradually work up to being able to take more. This is why some butt plugs just don’t work the same. If they have a narrow neck, then the anus actually closes around it and doesn’t get the desired stretching effect. So choose wisely. You can get sets of butt plugs that get larger in size so that you can train your body to take more. It’s all about patience! Start small and grow from there.
One thing I’ve really enjoyed trying is a vibrating buttplug! Holy moly, It’s a game changer! Seriously. I have one that’s pretty small, but the vibrations make my whole body just relax and it’s amazing! And I think it’s working! So, I’m going to keep playing with that (with LOTS of lube) and see how it goes. Hopefully next week while back on the “30 Day Sex Challenge” I’ll be able to report back positive things!
Has this guide helped you? Do you have any other suggestions? Let us know in the comments below or on our Twitter post.