BDSM with a softer edge- How Lingerie is introducing a softer style to those in the Kink and BDSM scene.

We’ve all called out for more acceptance of the BDSM and kink scene in conventional society. While playing with the “taboo” is always fun, there’s a massive stigma and a lot of kink-shaming going on in regular society. We’ve even seen cases where women get told “they were asking for it” when they’ve been attacked or (there have been cases) murdered just because they’re in to rough play. We in the scene all know that this is not the case. Just because you enjoy rough play does not mean you deserve to be abused. This mentality that society projects only encourages people looking to cause real harm to have more power and that’s the last thing we want. Safe play and acceptance for all is the goal!

The role Lingerie Plays

Excitingly, some of our favourite lingerie brands are leading the way on bringing acceptance of the kink world to the masses! Everyone knows that a sexy piece of lingerie can make a play session even more enticing and exciting! (It always works for me anyway!) Wearing lingerie is not just for your partner/submissive. I’ve found that wearing lingerie makes me feel so sexy and gives me a whole other level of confidence that I know oozes out and gives an extra level of dominance. Realistically, it’s in that confidence where a dommes true power lies. Historically BDSM lingerie is associated with black leather, latex, collars, cuffs and harnesses. The portrayal of BDSM outfits were always leaning towards the harsher, masochist style of dungeon domme.

While this style of domination is still very prevalent (and long may it live!) it can be intimidating to people looking to explore the kink world. There are also those who feel that this style of lingerie just doesn’t fit their aesthetic and style. There are so many different styles of play in the kink world that this one mould can’t fit all. Personally, I enjoy living the paradox of mixing the ultra-feminine while making a sub bow at my feet. This is what the lingerie brands are now trying to play with.

How are they managing this?

It’s great to see that brands such as Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty, Agent Provocateur and Wild Work Leather Work, to name but a few, are starting to cater to those of us who want to hold court but prefer to play with a softer edge. They’ve started bringing out pieces in pastel colours/florals/delicate materials with matching whips/cuffs/harnesses etc bring a whole different side to kink play. While looking through their online catalogues I found everything from vegan leather paddles (so you can be devilish while being environmentally and ethically friendly) to kitty whips with cute little heart charms (for that extra sting) dangling from the rose gold chains and even a sexy leather strap on in a gorgeous burnt orange. This excites me so much! (And yes, I want it all!)

But it’s not just lingerie changing perspectives

It’s great that the lingerie brands are looking to show us a different side to kink. What’s important to note is that some of this popularity is due to the world of pop culture introducing elements of kink in their songs and fashion choices. Rihanna initially shocked the world with her music video to S&M and a few years later she opened Savage X Fenty which is now a really popular lingerie brand with people on every part of the kink spectrum (and even those that aren’t into kink). Billie Eilish often wears industrial, BDSM style collars as part of her ensemble and even the sweet Ariana Grande discusses being tied up in her song “7 Rings”. Seeing people from pop culture refer to BDSM arouses a curiosity in younger adults and people who normally would be too afraid of the kink world. It’s amazing to see it being explored and gradually normalised into society. Of course, people who are entering and dabbling in the kink scene need to do their research on safe play, safe words and (our favourite) aftercare!

Right, I’m going back to browsing all these super cute items to maybe add to my playdrobe!

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

2 responses to “BDSM with a softer edge- How Lingerie is introducing a softer style to those in the Kink and BDSM scene.”

  1. I think that everyones a bit into kink, in secret. I’m glad more and more people in the spotlight are normalising it now – but I’m not to sure I’d like the leather strap-on, if I’m being honest. I’m thinking it would absorb fluids and be a nightmare to clean

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Videos