When you think of being in the real ‘grown up’ world, you shouldn’t except bullying to exist. You would think that bullying would stop at the playground. But alas (yes, I said alas) it still happens into adult life.


Bullying and harassment are never ok

Let me take you back for a moment to when you where younger and a kid at school, bullying back then was more face to face. It was more direct to the person. However, as we all know times have changed. Technology has advanced which means bullying has changed, it has become cyber, online. So how do you deal with online bullying? I was told as a child that ‘stick and stones’ but that isn’t always the case. Words can hurt and cyber bullying is hard because it feels as if there is no escape.

There are a lot of ways you can handle bullying and so I spoke to the FFFemBoss to get her personal insight into this matter, where she has given some advice for our readers.

Talk about it and don’t suffer in silence. Whether it’s with a friend, family member or colleague.

So when you are being bullied, do not shut yourself away from the world. Like FFFemBoss said talk to someone, anyone. It will help. Do you have members of the community you can talk to? If not, please do talk to us.

Bullying is never about you, it’s about them. People with happy lives don’t bully others. Nobody deserves to be bullied and it’s never your fault. Bullies will make you think deserve this treatment. You don’t.

Being a bully is a sign of weakness. Mature and successful people do not bully, and they don’t need to use intimidation tactics as they are confident enough in their own skills and abilities.”

Bullying even though it may feel like it’s about you because it’s aimed at you. It is NEVER about you, do not forget that. You have the right to live your life however you choose. Keep living your truth and know that if the bullying doesn’t seem to be stopping, it’s because your confidence makes them uncomfortable. They wish they had the power that you do!

You may not think it at times but remember that whenever these fools get under your skin. Strong people don’t bully others. You are the strong person.

“Harassment is against the law so keep screenshots of your communications. Don’t be afraid to contact the police if you are feeling attacked or threatened.:

It is a criminal offence to bully and harass someone online. If you are being targeted you can do the following:

  1. Screenshot the communication
  2. Do not respond
  3. Block that person on all formats
  4. If they continue to communicate you despite your best efforts to block them – the police can have that person cautioned or arrested, or a lawyer can bring charges against them in civil court
  5. If you respond, even in defence, then you may be forfeiting your legal protection against the harassment
If people throw stones at you, then pick them up and build something

“The most empowering thing you can do is make a bully the reason for your success. I learned to turn that negativity into a fire to work even harder and am proud to now be the founder of the Female Fetish Federation so we can shed light on these issues.”

From the very beginning the FFFemBoss has spoken to us about bullying and harassment in the Fetish scene, and has always been an advocate for compassion and understanding between people. It’s sad to know that our community with all it’s amazing and wonderful differences can be made still feel wrong by some people, but we have the power and responsibility to ensure that device rhetoric does not have any place here.

And here are some other things you can do:

  • Look after yourself.
    • This may seem like a given, but really do look after yourself. Make sure you are doing everything you would do, in a given day. Get up get dressed, film, edit, exercise, go see friends. Don’t dwell on the feelings of feeling targeted because bullies want you to fail. Stand up and show the world you are an unmovable mountain.
  • Deal with stress.
    • How do you deal with stress? Whether it’s a walk, run, watching tv, go for a drive. Deal with the stress the best way you know how. (I will cover more strategies on a future.)

So if you are suffering from bullying, have the power to make those childish and stupid people aware that in the adult world, actions do have consequences. Whether it is your continued success or in a court of law. Let your fear become your strength and don’t let the bullies win.


Your Kinky Therapist


Disclaimer; I am not a qualified therapist. I have no former qualifications in mental health. All information given in these posts are from my personal experience from working in the care industry; having being diagnosed with several mental illnesses; and having a career aimed towards helping people with mental illness.

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

6 responses to “When you think of being in the real ‘grown up’ world, you shouldn’t except bullying to exist. You would think that bullying would stop at the playground. But alas (yes, I said alas) it still happens into adult life.”

  1. Demon Kitty says:

    Alas, people don’t change. Some of the worst behaviour I have seen online is from dominant women, and moreover dommes who are respected by many in the scene. They’ve fooled people into thinking they’re victims, when they’re really guilty of what they accuse others. Grow up, ladies. If you don’t like someone, leave them be.

    • I completely agree with Demon Kitty. These people who are referring to are just half the battle that online bulling faces.

    • It’s our job to make people feel welcome and not so alone. Society is hard enough as it is but we shall prevail!

    • Interesting analogy… and none of them got the throne in the end, did they…

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