Etiquette for Dommes – yes Ladies, you need manners too! by Demon Kitty

etiquette

In this post, I’m going to look more at etiquette between Dommes. There is so much that can be said on sub-to-Domme etiquette that I won’t focus on it here. But ladies and gents, even if you identify as dominant you should still observe etiquette. Manners cost nothing, and if we want to be seen as superior beings then we should behave accordingly.

Some breaches of etiquette you should avoid:

Don’t act superior to everyone
Too many Dommes act snotty with their peers and it’s not on. It shouldn’t even happen when you’re dealing with a sub, when that sub hasn’t consented to be in a D/s dynamic with you. Yet again and again I see Dommes acting bratty towards other Dommes and expecting their “perfect ass” to be kissed, just because they call themselves Princess So-and-So. Newsflash, precious – you’re not actually a princess, and that attitude is going to get you laughed out of Femdom Town.

Demanding advice
Just because you are a fellow Domme doesn’t mean that anyone owes you their time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting advice from more experienced Dommes, but be aware that they may not have the time or the inclination to dispense wisdom. They owe you nothing, so don’t act entitled and get snotty because they decline to answer your questions. If they do answer your questions, be sure to thank them. A small gift from their wishlist will also be appreciated.

Not respecting the time of a Domme
Huntress Diamond recently tweeted about making a banner for another Domme, who failed to pay her or respond to messages. That’s not good manners. Just because you label yourself as a Domme doesn’t mean that you should treat other women with disdain. I’m a firm believer in supporting other women, and remember – they owe you nothing. They’re not a homework sub or obliged to provide you with free labour, just because you’re their peer. Respect their work.

Poaching
This is something that many new Dommes are guilty of. They see a sub tributing other Dommes and message the sub demanding that he tribute them. This is very bad form. Dominant females don’t need to do this and it’s also extremely disrespectful to his owner, if he has one. Don’t try to lure a sub away – you may succeed, but be aware that if he sluts around on a previous owner, he could do it to you.

Events
This could be a lengthy post in itself, but I’ll list a few points on etiquette at kink events. If you’re attending an event, familiarise yourself with the etiquette of the evening, and if you have any concerns address them to the dungeon master. Inserting yourself into a scene without asking is going to cause offence. Don’t take photos unless people agree, or expect to be called Mistress by all and sundry. And just because people are kinky, doesn’t mean that they consent to be touched by you or participate in a scene with you. Subs have the right to say no.

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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