Films and tv shows helped me come to grips with some of the aspects of my sexual views that I might otherwise of ignored or would have been frustrated.


My experience of femdom in media was mostly through the guise of popular media. These media sources whilst sometimes silly in their portrayals of femdom did show me the earliest aspect of femdom relationships and what it meant to have a women in the position of power sexually.

I remember watching Mr and Mrs Smith, in the film Angelina Jolie plays a hired killer and she uses the role of a dominatrix to gain entry to her targets apartment and kill him. It was her stance, her posture and her tone that really alerted me and lead me to watch the movie for that scene going again and again.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in Mr & Mrs Smith

Another source of media that introduced me to femdom was the secret diary of a call girl. In an episode a client asks Bille Pipers character to dominate him and the episode gave me chills, the way she talked, her accent and the things she said all moved me into a place where I knew I liked the power in a relationship to be in woman’s hands. She whipped her client but mentioned the lines she said were rehearsed before hand and in the episode they do show the limits and use of safe words effect to show that it wasn’t just a sadism thing.  

Billie Piper in Secret Diary of a Call Girl

In the episode the Domme also makes clear that femdom is an independent art in itself not just something call girls do when their done being call girls she asserts the art.

The problem is that in these popular media portrayals it was always the same the woman would whip the man or beat him many aspects of femdom I have since discovered weren’t event touched upon. In other movies too I saw femdom scenes involving ballbusting such as in into the valley that I really enjoyed but again it was a relationship where power was gained via pain. The idea of using erotic power to have control is never used in traditional media portrayals of domes I saw always saw it as a physically pain causing role and never dealt deeper. It didn’t deter me though the seeds were planted and I knew I wanted to see women in these positions of power. I googled phrases and terms and slowly through trial and error discovered femdom. But too me the big issue with popular media portrayals is their reliance on stereotypes and silly ideas of what a domme is. Its rooted in ignorance and constrained not to delve into a femdom. This is an education as for femdom to be accepted it needs to get beyond these tropes but media and for many their only contact with femdom is not about female empowerment but is still from the perspective of it being painful almost abusive and this is far from reality or the main story

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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