What is it I love about Women, and why I want to shed the “man” in me
Gender Dysphoria, means that the body you were born with doesn’t match the sense of who you are. It can be difficult to describe just how all-consuming that can be. Transphobic people mock this as just feelings, but it’s much more intense than that.
A thought experiment that I like to demonstrated it is: Imagine if you were a rainbow coloured unicorn, and you had wings that allow you to fly wherever you like, or you may just like to soar on the thermals like a glider enjoying the view (if you’ve never been gliding – I recommend it as one of the best experiences I’ve had, but I digress). So, remembering all that, imagine someone ties your wings, paint’s you grey, telling you that you’re a horse now puts you in a paddock where you can only eat grass. Extend that to include your sex, and that’s what Gender Dysphoria feels like.
I started with that because there is a risk when talking about the question you asked of seeming misogynistic when I’m just talking about me, and what I like. Personally, and socially, it also answers your second question (why you are determined to shed the “man” you used to be?). When I’m perceived as male, it’s like society is saying “hello horse, you’re a horse”, and there is a whole unwritten rule-book dictating behavior, how to dress, colours (don’t deviate from Blue and Black , though Brown is sometimes ok if you want to be retro). Australian male culture is even more restrictive and insecure.
What it is about Women I love so much? A few things, but I’ll start with the word “tribe”. When it comes to socializing, I’m drawn to the Women in the room, it’s nothing to do with sex, it’s about a different connection and energy. Women are more supporting of each other (I know, generalization), and come with a completely different perspective on what is important in society. There are precious few men that it’s possible to have a deep and meaningful discussion about how you feel that doesn’t feature a term similar to “oh, just toughen up”, or “you must have misunderstood”. As a result, I always feel more comfortable in a group of Women, than men.
Something that some may label as superficial: I love nice clothes, bags, shoes, makeup, generally presentation. This relates directly to the unicorn comments earlier, I love women who ‘wear it well’. It isn’t about comparing Women, it’s about the confidence that comes from feeling you’re enjoying being the best version of you. It’s possible to present well as a man of course, but it isn’t being me. I might even go so far as to say that the real me is a princess – I’m pretty sure I have more shades of nail-polish than fingers and toes combined 🙂
I’m a contradiction, although I’m an introvert and therefore don’t like too much attention, I do like to be noticed, I like to catch people staring at me, I like the occasional compliment of what I’m wearing, or how my hair looks, etc.
I’m still submissive, and socially submissive women don’t experience the same judgment as submissive men. In saying this, I’m all for empowering Women, even Female supremacy. I mentioned earlier qualities of women that I admire and they are qualities that make awesome leaders, but I also like to let someone else drive, sometimes.