“I have no limits, Mistress!” A phrase every Domme hears on a regular basis. But contrary to what you might think, we don’t cackle with delight and immediately plan a plethora of kinky delights. Because it’s a lie. Everyone has limits. If you think you don’t, you probably just haven’t discovered yours yet.
Why does this phrase annoy us?
As dommes, we want the session to be fulfilling for both of us. It won’t be enjoyable if the sub whines after the second stroke of a cane, or refuses to drip candle wax on their balls. Whether it’s a real-time or online session, it’s going to kill the vibe if you don’t like any of the instructions we give or worse, flat out refuse to obey. Also we need at least some cues from you as to what you want to explore. Otherwise we’re left floundering with no idea where to start.
Talk to us!
Guys, please communicate with us. It might be hot fantasising about having extreme sessions, but if you’re not actually a pain slut or you don’t want to be explaining marks to your significant other, then you need to tell us. There’s nothing wrong with trying out a new activity and deciding it’s not for you. But ask yourself some questions about what interests you and what isn’t so appealing. It’s highly unlikely that everything goes.
I have a slightly facetious way of responding to the ‘no limits’ subs. “Great! I want you to shove a cactus up your arse!” Of course you’re not going to do this, even if you own a cactus. But it’s my way of pointing out how ridiculous that statement is. It’s also potentially damaging. If you claim to have no limits, a Domme may take you at your word and tell you to do something that you really won’t like.
Very few subs have no limits
In all likelihood, the true ‘no limits’ subs are in a tiny minority if they exist at all. True, there are some who thrive on being ordered to do the most degrading tasks or are truly open to exploring anything. But if you’re not one of them – and chances are you’re not – at best your session will go flat if you’re asked to do something that really won’t appeal or called names that you hate. And at worst, it could leave you with a very bad impression of kink. And all because you didn’t start to figure out your limits.