Is It Okay to Talk About My Fetishes to a Phone Sex Buddy?

Daisy held by Woman in panties

Contrary to popular belief, fetishes are quite common and exploring them via phone sex is also common too. Voyeurism and some of the other most common fetishes affect over 15% of the population, according to some studies’ findings. When considering all the fetishes out there, the percentage of people who have them is probably much larger.

Yet, our culture remains afraid of sexuality, so we stigmatize those who fall outside what is considered “normal sexuality.” Normal sexuality has changed so much over the years. It has become unrecognizable from where it was when psychologists began to study sexuality in the first place. That’s because there’s truly no such thing as normal sexuality. Everyone likes different things in bed, and that’s one of the things that makes having sex with people surprising and fun.

If you’re nervous about telling a new partner about your fetishes, that’s natural. But know that telling people about your fetishes is okay, and it’s a great step toward self-acceptance. Below are some tips for telling your phone sex buddy about your fetishes.

Find a Community

If you live in a relatively big city, chances are you can find a community of people like yourself. While you may not ascribe to the same fetish, you can find some kinky people and discuss your sexual experiences. Telling other friends about your fetish and hearing about theirs can give you the language to describe your kink in a way that will be approachable for people you’re dating. Plus, it will give you more confidence that your sexuality is normal and you’re not alone. And if you tell someone about your kink and it goes poorly, you’ll have some friends to commiserate with who have probably been through the same situation.

Time It Right

One of the best strategies for telling your fetish to a phone sex buddy is to make sure the timing is right. You don’t want to tell them when they’re in the middle of something important. If they can’t talk at that moment, you’ll be suspended in anticipation and nerves until you hear back, and it will make the process even more unpleasant. Plus, if it’s someone you don’t know very well, you don’t want to overload them with information until you’re absolutely sure they’re as interested in you as you are in them.

Be Direct

There’s no way to beat around the bush when you’re talking about fetishes. You either need high heels (or whatever your specific fetish is) to reach orgasm, or you don’t. Trying to be overly casual about it may make it seem like you’re hiding something. Instead of saying, “I’d love for you to try wearing high heels once for me when we’re intimate,” be clearer. Let your phone sex buddy know that high heels are an integral part of your sexuality, and it’s something you’d love for them to be a part of.

Don’t Take It Personally

If they aren’t into it, try not to take it personally. They are probably into some things that you wouldn’t like either, or worse, they may bore you. Realize that you weren’t meant to be sexual soulmates and find someone who is on your level.

Don’t Put Up With Insults

Your partner may say they aren’t willing to try your fetish, and that’s fine. But don’t put up with any kink-shaming or verbal abuse just because your interests like outside what’s considered “normal.” Having a fetish doesn’t make you less deserving of respect than the most vanilla person out there.

Be proud of yourself for being brave enough to advocate for your own sexual self-interest. And then use that bravery to cut anyone off who tries to insult you. End the conversation and move on. If they’re weird about your fetish, it reflects a personal issue of theirs, and it’s not something you need to worry about.

Tell an Open-Minded Stranger First

The best way to get more comfortable with something is to get some practice. Once you have some positive experiences telling people about your fetish under your belt, you will know what kind of reaction you should expect and how you can explain your fetish in relatable terms in the future.

Fortunately, you can find loads of sex buddies online who are more than willing to talk about your fetish with you. Some may even have some kinks of their own. Check out this video of a phone sex operator who is perfectly comfortable with fetishes as she talks about her favorite fetishes:

Finding a phone sex buddy on a legitimate site is the perfect place to get started. Arousr is a site where your information will be completely private, and you can safely explore your fetish with other like-minded people. Try Arousr phone sex line for free today!

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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