What I love about the kink scene is that it includes people from all walks of life! Everyone is welcome (once they are of age) to explore the extracurricular side of their sexuality. We often forget about people who have their kinky side but also are living daily with a specific disability. We especially forget about those living with an “invisible” disability. Princess Camellia wants to highlight to the world the importance of remembering those within the kink world who are living with disabilities every day. It comes down to the old “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” story. Just because you see a person suffering with an illness doesn’t mean they aren’t into some wild shit!
Chronic pain lead to a world of fanfiction.
Born with Sickle Cell Anemia, Princess Camellia didn’t have such a typical childhood. This is a blood disorder that, in the US, largely affects African Americans. It has many uncomfortable symptoms including fatigue (due to a shortage of red blood cells), episodes of chronic pain and frequent/higher risk of infections to name but a few. This meant that Princess Camellia spent a lot of days at home from school due to one element of the illness or another. She spent her time reading a lot of fanfiction to pass the time. She mainly read works by women/femmes who wrote about adventure and romance and were often based within alternative universes.
This was where Princess Camellia discovered kink and the world of sex outside of a Biology classroom. These authors weren’t just shoving sex scenes in their fiction for the sake of it. They were instilling the idea that sex is mostly about communication, not just the physical side. And to be honest, from discussing this with her, it seems that these fanfiction pieces teach more about consent than we’re ever taught in sex ed classes! One genre of fanfiction she enjoyed was a BDSM alternate universe. In this universe everyone was a kinkster, but they also respected each other as equals and had their own preferences. The Dominant planet inhabitants respected the Submissive inhabitants. The Submissive inhabitants didn’t sub to just anyone and the Switches had their preferences depending on the person. But, at all times, they showed each other respect.
This is so refreshing to hear as so often the kink and BDSM gets portrayed in the media so poorly. We actually have an article here on FFFBuzz.com which talks about the stereotypes the BDSM world receives in the movies (How does Hollywood Always get the BDSM Scene so Damn Wrong?!). So, through fanfiction Princess Camellia learnt a healthier way of looking at the world of sex and kink before even having her own sex life. She knew what she was looking for – to be treated correctly by a partner, and how to communicate with them. When going to college she joined The Taillor Group which is a young feminist group that focuses on female empowerment through BDSM and kink education. What an amazing group to be a part of! She not only learnt from this group but began as an apprentice there continuously educating herself on safe and consensual BDSM and kink practices. This is one clever Princess right here!
From coping to thriving
All of this, of course, was going on while she was trying to manage the chronic pain she was dealing with every day. This was something no one had taught her how to manage. Because how could anyone? No two persons are the same and this goes for two people suffering with the same disability. Princess Camellia has had a lot of self-exploration within herself as a black, queer, femme kinky being who suffers daily with a chronic illness. That’s a lot to learn about yourself but she has taken it in her stride. Of course, there are good days and bad days both physically and mentally. And some days, in order to achieve her goals, (be it sessions online with subs or otherwise) it may result in her planning her day, so her pain meds kick in at the right time. Then she may need a day or two after to rest. But she does it! That’s the main thing! She makes it work, to the best of her ability, for her! I think she’s a true inspiration to the kink world and I encourage you all to go follow her blog “Disabled Domme Diaries” on Patreon.
Are you someone in the kink world suffering with a disability? How do you manage? Let us know by leaving a comment below or by engaging with our Tweet.
To follow and find out more find Princess Camellia on Twitter at: @latestsinsation
And follow Disabled Domme Diaries at: https://www.patreon.com/disableddommediaries