WARNING – This post contains references to racial slurs which could be offensive.
You might think talking about a taboo fetish promotes that fetish, but it’s actually works the opposite way. In today’s world, fetishes exist in every corner of human sexuality. For the most part, are all welcomed and accepted. Every now and then though, you’ll see someone online that’s “performed” a taboo fetish and then claims it’s for their submissives, or their audience. Now more than ever, it’s important we openly discuss how every taboo or fetish can be practiced safely and consensually.
Experiences with men that left Me offended…
Recently I took an interesting phone call from a white American man. It started off with Me learning about how his confidence with Women has improved by talking to sex workers. He’d grown up in towns that were completely white. He had no experience with people of colour until he became older. He opened up to Me, saying he had better relationships with Black Women because he always knew where he stood with them. Our honesty helped him realise his place. During our phone call, he came across intelligent and experienced which I appreciated and initially enjoyed.
However, the conversation ended on a bitter note. After a thoughtful and honest dialogue, he said to me, “the only way we’ll achieve equality is if you can call me a cracker, and I can call you a n*gger”.
I was beyond shocked.
For him to use that word so freely and think both words carried the same weight, was misinformed to say the least.
Experiences with Dommes that left Me perturbed…
I remember another time where a white Domme just came out and asked Me if she could use the n-word. It wasn’t even part of a conversation we had previously. It was like she just was asking My permission. Did she see Me as the representative for all Black Dommes or something?! I was immediately stopped in My tracks at the question. It showed all over My face how offended and confused I was by being asked that.
If you want to use slurs, you need to have a thorough knowledge of BDSM. This type of play should between you and your submissive only. Because of the sensitive nature of this fetish, knowing about cultural histories before you engage will be your strength.
The sensitivity to this, has also been used as a weapon. A few months ago a black Domme created a twitter account posing as a Black submissive. She privately messaged white Dommes asking about racial humiliation. If they agreed, she’d their screenshots and say “all white Dommes who do racial humiliation are racist”.
Ultimately, you have to understand consent and what kinks are. This way, you can worry less about how others around you are exploring their kinks.
This is why conversations about race and ethnicity are important
Using slurs in our every-day language has always bothered Me. I’ve read a lot into the history of words. I believe there are certain words that the original definition will never change because of how they were initially formed. The casual use of derogatory terms enables people to drop them into a conversation with someone who might take offense.
However, if we can consent upfront to the use of slurs, then the dynamic changes completely. This allows all parties to understand the kink and create a safe, sane and consensual BDSM environment.
Getting to know our community
Initially I’d asked on My twitter feed for people to get in touch with Me about race play and humiliation. I wanted them to let Me know why they enjoy it so much. In the last few years, an assumption has appeared that Dominatrices only do things for money. And that submissives don’t want to be racially humiliated. But has anyone actually asked those in the community who partake in racial humiliation consciously, why they do?
So I asked:
- What race are you?
- Which race do you prefer to be humiliated by/prefer to humiliate?
- What do you like to be called and how do you like to be degraded? Or why do you think your submissives like to be be degraded in this way?
- Why do you enjoy it?
I had over 100 responses from Dommes, subs and kinksters.
95 responses were from male and Female submissives; 61 white, 19 Indian, 9 Black, 5 Arabic and 1 Chinese. 14 responses were from Female and male Dominants; 9 Black and 5 white, with 2 responses from switches; Afghan and white. It’s important to note that most of My audience and followers are white males, and most of the responses will request a Black Dominant. So let’s start with the submissive responses.
Indian Submissive responses
Taboo kinks aren’t supposed to be written off because we might not like or understand them. We have to be conscious of who we’re exposing them to.
It’s My pleasure to be able to open the floor to anyone who understands, or is attempting to understand racial play and humiliation.
All play should be about enhancing the superior and inferior dynamic. But intent and understanding should always be at the forefront.
Your kinks don’t offend Me and shouldn’t offend others. You’re free to explore whatever fetishes you wish. Just try to always make sure your Dominant is also comfortable with the play.
Arab/Middle East Submissive responses
For Middle Eastern and Arab men, it takes confidence and a true understanding of self to want to submit yourself to someone.
A lot of submissives lead very stressful lives. Engaging in racial humiliation gives them the release that they need.
We mention religion as well as race in our YouTube conversation and this is a really important thing to address. Does your Dominant know the different races and religions? Do they know how each one has its place in the world? Racial play and humiliation is much bigger than just slinging a few curse words around.
Black Submissive responses
Dominating Black men is rare but very enjoyable. From what I have seen the majority of them will contact white Women for racial humiliation and these response share why. It’s important that Black Women in the community support Black men in their fetishes, not deter them from exploring them.
This was My favourite response. After I told him so, he responded “Haha thanks 🙂 I just like telling the truth. And yes if my services are needed please let me know My Queen”. I respect a submissive who can take ownership of his fetish. For Me as a Black Woman hearing this, I can commend the strength in his answer. I’ve always stood up for racial humiliation and I believe anyone can partake in it as long as the play is mindful and consensual.
TPE – Total Power Exchange. Black men are expected to be strong, but having a safe space to be weak is something they also need.
Now this is a conversation I would like to continue one day….
Chinese Submissive responses
Chinese submissives are also rare. Culturally, they’re known for keeping to their traditional values and community. So finding Chinese slaves who want to understand other races is great.
Submissive don’t get enough credit for their knowledge and intelligence in My opinion. It’s easy to assume they’re “dumb timewasters” if you primarily practice your kinks on social media instead of real life. If you’re a Dominant who would prefer to meet submissives outside of a dungeon, then make sure you’re taking the time to understand them.
White submissives are very common in our community. This could be for a number of reasons. One I believe is that white men have been lead to believe they are the superiors, but Women can show them otherwise.
The Goddess who owns this boy told us about him during our chat and I’m very happy they both have made the journey to understand race together.
I’ve personally found that white Irish men are particularly into racial humiliation. I’ve visited Ireland a few times and every single time, I’ve found one who craves it. I look forward to exploring this more with them.
Mixed Race Submissives
It is interesting to speak to slaves of mixed races. Mixed race men and Women are made to feel they should have an affinity to their “darker” ethnicity.
Race play gives us an adrenaline boost because we’re doing something society thinks is wrong. In the safe spaces we create, we have the freedom to explore the deepest and darkest “wrong things”.
Extreme humiliation. It’s one of the most taboo kinks to be able to humiliate someone because of their race.
This is probably the only Afghan I’ve ever spoken to and so I would be keen to gain his insights on exactly how his humiliation plays out.
Being a sadist as well, I enjoyed the reference to pain. If you can hurt someone just with your words, you can add a whole new dynamic to your play.
Black Dominants have the reputation of being strong, powerful and confident. Being part of the kink scene enables us to gain a sense of control over the wrongs we have faced and continue to face in our lives.
As a Black Dominant Myself, I make mention in the YouTube video just how empowered I am through racial humiliation. Just like My fellow Black Dominatrices.
I really enjoy just how eloquent the Dominants are when they talk about racial humiliation. They described perfectly how the power dynamic plays out in their sessions.
White Dominants always seem to have the biggest back lash when it comes to race play but race play and humiliation is for everyone. Dominating Black men is rare but it does happen, for all races.
It’s about having the confidence, knowledge and skill to apply this to a session, play or lifestyle relationship.
Watch part one of My racial humiliation talk featuring other Dominatrices of different ethnicities. Part two is coming soon!
So what did you think about what our community has to say on racial humiliation and race play?
Did any of these responses shock you? What are your experiences with race, race play and humiliation as a fetish? Have any questions or concerns? Please let Me know in the comments.