Modern Problems Require Modern Solutions: We Reveal Some New Advice on Safe Sex in the Pandemic Age.

glory holes

The world of kink is one which constantly evolves in response to what’s going on in in the world at large. However, until now, these changes were largely influenced by social factors as opposed to from any need for self-preservation. As we’re all still in the grip of a pandemic that looks likely to be sticking around for a while, I thought I’d have a look to see what advice experts are giving on how to go through with safe sexual contact. I mean, if the bars are going to open for business soon, surely, we can begin to look at a return to normality in other areas of our lives? So, here’s what I found. Get ready for total confusion and hilarity.

Peekaboo!

No guts, no glory

A few weeks back, New York city’s health department released a safe sex guide for its residents. (Click here to read it) Bearing in mind that NYC is the epicentre of the outbreak in America, I can only suggest that some of these measures may apply to you. Here’s their main recommendation for maintaining a safe distance during sex… Gloryholes. Yep, it’s gloryholes.

Well, they weren’t as upfront about calling what it is as I’ve been. They instead phrased their recommendation as such: “make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact”.

Epic.

So, regarding the legality of umm…’physical barriers’, one can assume that we’re all good to get our jollies in public spaces again without the fear of reprisal. And, I gotta admit, I find this truly amazing. I’m all for semi-anonymous hook-ups happening everywhere. Now that they’ve been rebranded as a morally responsible act, you too can enjoy that warm feeling you get from doing your bit to aid the world at large. Gloryholing is a humanitarian act!

Let’s take this outside, shall we?

Pet Play in the Park is a OK

Another recommendation will please the exhibitionists among us quite a bit. Given that it’s the case that being in tight spaces panting and sweating on each other isn’t really optimal at the moment (hmm, maybe some breathplay might be an idea?), they’ve come up with an alternative. Put simply, the advice given to NYC residents is that they should sexually express themselves in “larger, more well-ventilated areas”. Preferably, while others are watching… Well no, they didn’t actually say that, but I can’t see any harm. Just make sure that no-one else joins in the fun.

PPE are so immportant!

2 is a crowd

That’s right, unfortunately for now, group sex is off the menu for some more time yet. This particular health department doesn’t seem to have any issues with people shedding their clothes and getting nasty in public. But, they emphasise the importance of a mask during the act itself. Hand washing is once again a key message in this recommendation, and rightly so.

 Despite the obvious hilarities you can get from this report, it does also provide food for thought. We can get creative with this, perhaps even turn it into an art form of sorts. I wish I could think of some totally bizarre, but yet legal and safe way to combine what’s laid out in this report. Unfortunately though, I haven’t come up with anything so far. Hit up the comments if you’ve got any suggestions!

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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