Every Domme has dealt with time-consuming subs. The kind that want to check in with you multiple times daily, starting when they wake up and ending when they go to bed. Sometimes they even message you while you’re asleep. Boys, if you find yourself acting like this, check yourself. No Domme likes attention whores, and we don’t want you sucking up all our energy. You need to bear a few things in mind, and understand why this behaviour is so annoying. You don’t want to be dismissed or blocked, do you?
So why is it so irritating for a sub to be so demanding?
You’re not her only sub
Chances are you’re not the only sub serving her or interested in doing so. Just think – if each of you demanded that much attention, she’d be exhausted. Even if you’re not one of many, it still isn’t a good look for someone to be constantly messaging and wanting attention. Don’t get jealous of her other subs either. It’s one thing striving to serve her to the best of your ability, another thinking that you’re some kind of alpha sub who’s better than the others and deserves more of her attention.
She has other responsibilities
Your Domme might have a vanilla job. Maybe she has children, or is caring for elderly parents. Perhaps she makes content, which she has to plan, shoot, edit and upload. She might have health problems that limit her energy. One thing is certain: in spite of your fantasy that she spends her day sitting around in corset and leather, she has plenty of other commitments taking up her time.
It’s not service
How is it serving a Domme if you’re always wanting her time and energy? You need to put her first and not your own selfish needs. Don’t act like you should be her sole priority or as if you’re more important than anything else.
Neediness isn’t attractive …
Do you really want to come across as an energy vampire? If I wanted needy creatures demanding my attention day and night, I’d have had kids. But I have no wish to micromanage someone else’s life. You’re a grown adult, act like it. Don’t wear me out or make me regret ever taking you on. I will dump you in a heartbeat if you get too needy or demanding.
… and nor is entitlement
Finally, it’s pretty darn entitled to think you have the right to demand a domme’s time. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve spent on her. She decides what you get. If that’s nothing, you’ll be grateful and thank her.