Pegging: Anal Play and Taking it Like a Man

What is pegging?

Anal play has existed as long as sex has, but the term pegging was first used by the popular sex advice columnist Dan Savage in 2001 to describe when a cis-gendered female penetrates a cis-gendered male anally with a strap-on dildo. Thanks to more widespread sex education, the practice is becoming more well-known and accepted.

Doesn’t it hurt?

Someone once told me that you should use enough lube to stuff an elephant in a mailbox when performing anal sex. While that certainly helps, like with many things, it’s important to go slow at first and build up. There should be no sharp pain, but a slightly stretched feeling is totally normal.

In my opinion, it’s better to start with fingers before moving on to using toys. If you’re practicing by yourself, depending on your flexibility, it can sometimes be a bit of a challenge. My recommendation? Go see a reputable professional Domme and she can carefully and safely guide you.

There are tons of wonderful prostate massages toys to try out and an endless choice of different sized and shaped dildos. Again, start small and work your way up. You don’t want to traumatize your body by using a giant dildo from the get-go.

There are numbing creams and gels on the market, but I would absolutely NOT recommend using them. Doing so can prevent you from feeling if something is not going well. Plus, why would you want to numb an area with so many nerve endings? It goes completely against the concept of getting pleasurable sensations from anal play.

Pegging
Inanna Justice

But doesn’t that make the guy gay?

Absolutely not! The idea that getting pegged makes you gay is ridiculous. Homosexuality is when two same-gendered people are attracted to each other. If you’re male (identifying) and you have female (identifying) partners, you are heterosexual, regardless of the sexual practices that you take part in.

I am a cis-gendered woman and regularly practice this with men that are straight. They have no desire to kiss another man, let alone have sex with one. The fact that they enjoy anal playmakes them no less heterosexual. They want to be penetrated by ME, a woman.

The Politics of Pegging

I’m very passionate about educating people about sexuality, particularly stuff that falls outside of what is considered normal. Every time we discuss things that are considered taboo in vanilla society, we chip away at the shame surrounding it. It’s important that we begin to educate ourselves about pegging (and so many other things) so that we can pass on our knowledge to future generations and break down some of the negative stereotypes surrounding a-typical sexuality. By discussing sex and sexuality more openly, we help others to get over their insecurities and eliminate shame.

Sex is a basic human need, along with food, shelter, and emotional connections with others, but we don’t talk about it. We spend hours discussing what we’re going to cook for dinner, what improvements we’re going to do on our home, and our relationships with others, but we avoid talking about sex. It’s time that we change our attitudes towards sex, and discussing with your partner(s) and entourage is one way to do so.

Why do people like it so much?

There are so many reasons that people like pegging, but the most common responses I hear are power dynamics and physical pleasure.

You are likely aware that the prostate is considered like the g-spot for men. While it can take a bit of practice, once you have had a prostate orgasm, it’s usually quite easy to reproduce. From what I have read and been told by many, many partners, prostate orgasms feel similar to penile orgasms but are much more intense. Plus, men can have multiple orgasms this way, which is not usually possible with penile orgasms.

We often talk about the physical pleasure that men get from anal penetration, but rarely about the physical pleasure when a woman places her strap on around her hips and screws her man. Depending on the strap on that she uses, there can be some wonderful friction against her genitals, possibly provoking an orgasm. There are also some dildos that are placed in the vagina and extend outward from there like a penis. These are great, as you can both potentially have multiple orgasms together. How wonderful is that?

A diagram of the prostate, which is easy to locate with your finger as the tissue feels different than other tissues in that area.

Power dynamics

For both partners, the power aspect of pegging can be truly incredible. A lot of women don’t understand the pleasure that can come from penetrating their partner. To see a man on all fours with his ass in the air and begging for my cock is one of the sexiest things imaginable. I am generally less turned on by images than by words (for example, I would much rather read an erotic novel rather than watch a porno), but there something extremely visually exciting about “taking” my partner. Between the pleasure of seeing his face contorted in pleasure and watching my cock slip in and out of his ass, it’s a feast for the eyes.

For the man, being taken by his partner can be a welcome change from the typical dynamics of “classic” sex. She takes a much more active role in between the sheets than usual, the man gets to relax and take in all the pleasure.

Potential health benefits

Pegging and other anal play is not only fun and sexy, but there are potentially health benefits to play. While research is somewhat limited, some studies have shown that prostate play may help with erectile dysfunction, alleviate painful ejaculations, prevent and treat prostatitis, improve urine flow, improve sexual performance and more. I’m not a doctor, so I’ll let you do your own research and talk to your medical professional if you suffer from any of these problems.

Preparing for anal play

As with all sexual practices, you need to have open, honest discussions with your partner before trying something new. Don’t be afraid to ask each other questions, to express your concerns, and share why you want to explore anal play and pegging.

Some people worry about the cleanliness of pegging. I ask my partner to do an enema beforehand to limit problems. Here’s a guide to how to do one. For people that are new to the joys of pegging, I recommend throwing down a dark-colored towel. Keep a roll of paper towels nearby just to be safe. The less you stress about the potential mess, the more you’ll be able to enjoy yourself, so do what feels most appropriate for you.

Take your time

Don’t be overly ambitious at first. As I mentioned before, it’s important to start slow. I recommend setting safe words beforehand as sometimes when we’re in the moment, we can have a difficult time expressing ourselves. It’s sometimes easier to say green or red than to explain in detail when you’re distracted by what’s going on “down there.”

Start by massaging around the anus before penetration. This helps relax the muscles and make the insertion of a finger or a toy much easier and more pleasurable.

If you’re the giving partner, trim down your nails and wash your hands well. Don’t hesitate to use gloves, even if he’s your only sexual partner. Gloves help protect you both from infections. Plus, the feeling of latex or nitrile gloves is super sexy. I swear, just the act of putting on gloves gets me turned because I know what’s coming next.

The more you prepare for pegging, the more relaxed you will be and the easier it will be to let go and focus on the pleasure.

anal play
Finding the right strap on and dildo for pegging is essential.

To summarize

Pegging can create intimacy beyond what you have previously experienced. It takes courage for a man to say that he wants to explore it and it takes confidence for a woman to strap on a cock and take the control (damn you, cultural norms).

The possibilities multiply and sex becomes much, much more interesting when both partners can penetrate and be penetrated. You will gain a greater understanding of your own body as well as your partner’s body as you will finally have the pleasure of feeling sex internally instead of just externally.

So go ahead, take it like a man and get fucked. You’ll be glad that you did.

Pro Domme Inanna Justice is based in Paris, France and is a regular contributor to FFFbuzz.com. Visit her website and her Twitter to learn how to serve. And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter if you don’t already.

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

One response to “Pegging: Anal Play and Taking it Like a Man”

  1. My wife did me up the bum totally but she started slow. She would masturbate me and hold my balls to control my movements, eventually she started playing with my ass and then one day she slid a finger inside. It was so tight it was squeezing her finger. Not to be dissuaded she kept at it and in time was able to insert two fingers and finally she had three inside me and she also started using a small vibrator. As this progressed she also started controlling me more physically, she would get hold of my testicles and pull me into the bedroom and do what she pleased. During these session we would engage in kinky chats sometimes about a big black crooked cock. I would say she would like one and she would respond that if she found one i would get it as well as her. Eventually we decided to try another man and we went out to a local motel and she picked up a guy in the bar and had him in his room while I waited outside. Two weeks later we went to a local club and she left with a handsome young man and they fucked in our van while I watched. Eventually she found a big black crooked one and by that time I was well trained to do what was expected

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