Being the perfect dominatrix is about exuding dominance and providing your clients and submissives with an excellent BDSM experience. To give your clients the session of their dreams, check out the qualities that do make you a good Domme, and the qualities that don’t so much….
Qualities that do make you a good Domme
1. High levels of confidence and self assurance
To be a professional dominatrix you need to have a lot of confidence and high self-esteem, and making sure to express it specifically during sessions with your clients.
Confidence is not only a necessary part of being a dominatrix, but it is also super sexy for your submissives.
Being able to dominate and showing your submissive that you are comfortable with being in control.
2. Showing your creative bones
Being inspired really does make your play sessions more fun. In your sessions you might want to listen to music. Create a playlist of music that you love, be it to calm you or to give you an added rush of adrenaline.
Or see your submissive as a canvas for which you want to paint with kisses, bruises or blood. The more patterns you can make on their skin, the more intune with their body you will be, making it more enjoyable for all parties involved. Plus the aftermath also looks very cool (as long as consent is gained for marks to be left post session).
3. Respectfulness to peers and submissives
A good Mistress shows respect for herself and for others and always aims to present herself in the best light and her submissives. They must attain the same standards, for they are a reflection of herself. She takes care of her appearance, surroundings and equipment.
It is not mandatory to like every person that crosses your path as of course, we are not made to have things in common with one another. A very boring life would be lead if we all had the same likes and beliefs. However, to maintain respect
4. Consistency in behaviour and instructions
A good FemDomme gives her sub commands that are clear to follow without conflict. Her instructions and requests are in repeated patterns. The same levels of punishment are given for each offence, just as the same levels or reward are given for each successfully completed task. She stays on her path when faced with difficult situations and remains firm in her direction.
5. Good communication
Learning how to listen as well as speak is a very important trait to have. Pay attention to your play partners body language, are they relaxed, comfortable and enjoying the session? Don’t be afraid of the silence and when to ask questions. Good communicators know what they are talking about and are able to relax in order to communicate clearly.
Poor communication means lack of control.
And the qualities that don’t make you a good Domme?
1. How “attractive” you are plays no part in your skills as a Dominant Woman
A big misconception is that conventional attractiveness means that you are better at being a Dominant Woman. Whilst people are attracted to each other initially because of exterior beauty, when it comes to Domination, it primarily involves seduction, skill and an understanding of psychology.
Submissives will only submit to a Woman if she has naturally dominant traits, and everything else is just an added bonus.
2. Being mean all the time to everyone around shows a lack of self-control
The alpha Female is no slave to her emotions and stays serene even in the more difficult times. She is able to slow down, think logically, rationally and is able to put things into perspective without letting herself become trapped by her feelings.
That’s what allows her to make the right decisions when it comes to controlling her submissives.
3. Twitter follower count has no relevance in being a good Domme
I’d recently written “Being a “Social Media Dominatrix” Feeds Your Insecurities. Here’s How to Overcome That” where I talk about how the numbers of Twitter followers falsely seems to make people believe it relates to a Dommes skill level. It should go without saying that it doesn’t.
The measure of a good Domme is how happy she is in herself, and how content she makes her submissives feel.
4. “My way or the highway” doesn’t always fly
If you are a professional Dominatrix, and this is your primary source of income, then client satisfaction is key. If you are too rigid in your sessions without prior discussion, your submissive may leave the session unhappy.
You may want to be flexible to additional requests in your sessions, as long as they are in line with your values. The happier your sub is, the more likely they will return and perhaps refer you to other submissives.
5. A Dominant Woman doesn’t try to be friends with everybody
When you try to appeal to everyone, you quickly become flat, boring and show no sense of self. Trying to behave in a way that doesn’t offend anybody, means that you will behave in a way that doesn’t inspire anyone either. Submissives want to feel inspired by you. A strong and charismatic leader takes action whilst remaining in tune with her goals and values.
She needs to accept that this will lead her to make decisions that are not always cheered, but are more authentic.
So what did you think of this article? Do you have any other qualities you want to share? Please comment below