The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Part 4 – Popular Fetishes

Beginners Guide

By now you’ve read parts 1, 2, and 3 of the “The Beginners Guide to BDSM” series and you know how to prepare for a session. I am particularly fond of the phrase “if you fail to prepare, you’re preparing to fail” when it comes to BDSM, so I figured it was important to get the prep sorted first. But in this article, I’m going to discuss some of the most popular and common fetishes out there.

These are great as a “go-to” for beginners looking to start their journey into the world of BDSM. It’s good to know how they work and what it is about them that gets people off! Hopefully while reading this it’ll give you ideas of ways you can start out and help you figure out what your kinks and fetishes are. So, let’s have it, the FFFBuzz.com guide to some of the world’s most popular fetishes!

Impact play

Whips, paddles and feather's are great BDSM tools
Black whip, paddle and feather fronds are excellent toys to use

This is one that seems easy, but is often ignored. We have to take care of each other while playing. Anyone who’s seen any images of BDSM will have seen whips, floggers, and paddles. All great for impact play, but you need to know how to do it safely! Avoid areas around the organs or where there’s less padding, like the lower back. Also, the back of the head is a most definite no go! Here’s a guide on safe flogging techniques and where the safe zones are on the body (we’re talking the big juicy backside and other “meatier” areas). My suggestion would be to start nice and easy, with an open palm. This way you can figure out the level of impact you both enjoy (and it’s free, no expensive equipment required). As always, be sure to have your safeword at the ready.

Why do people enjoy impact play? – Some of us just really love pain! And that doesn’t make you “wrong” or “messed up”. It’s just how we are. There’s something about the sharpness of being spanked, slapped or flogged that releases endorphins and can feel great! Give it a go! It might be for you!

Role Playing

You can introduce BDSM aspects into your marriage to spice it up!
‘Modern Family’: Phil and Claire try role playing

This is a popular fetish to feature in mainstream media. It normally involves a teacher/student dynamic or a police officer/criminal dynamic, but it can be so much more! Don’t restrict yourselves! This is a great way of playing out your fantasies in a safe environment. Even the TV show ‘Modern Family’ has an episode where Phil and Claire play out a role play scenario.

They play out a “cheating” scene where they “bump into each other” at a hotel bar. He’s an out of town businessman at a conference and she’s a local housewife. Phil then “picks her up” and the pair prepare to go off to their hotel room to continue the scene. Of course, this all goes terribly wrong in classic sitcom style, but it’s an example of how vanilla or extreme you can go. On the more extreme side you can play Doctors and patients, but I’d advise not jumping straight into blood play until you have the basics down. A good ole “cock examination” is a better way to start out.

Why do people enjoy role play? – Role playing allows us to live out our wildest fantasies in a safe space. It allows us to be someone else. That someone else may have more confidence than we do, or it could be that they have a totally different persona. In the example above, it allowed them to get the “thrill” of cheating but with no one getting hurt. You don’t have to give an Oscar-winning performance to make role play work. You’ve just both got to get invested.

Foot Fetish

Foot fetishes are very popular
Lots of people love to worship my feet. @LaceyLeesha

Probably one of the most common fetishes out there! This crosses over all genders. Some people just love the look, smell, and feel of feet. If they’re a submissive they may love to be on the ground worshiping at their Dominants feet. Someone with a foot fetish may enjoy smelling, kissing and massaging the other person’s feet. They may really enjoy purchasing shoes and sandals for the feet to look dressed up in (this is my favourite version! Who doesn’t love new shoes?). And in some cases, they may enjoy receiving foot jobs. I’ve heard this feels great, but I don’t have a dick so I can’t give first-hand experience. Just make sure to hydrate beforehand to avoid leg cramps! That’s the advice I can give!

Why do people enjoy feet? – It’s as simple as, some people just really find feet attractive! And hey, if those people want to buy my new boots, give me a foot massage, or pay for my pedicure, then I’m all for it!

Anal Sex

Anal plugs are a great way to get started
You can use fingers, toys, body parts and your mouth when playing anally

You don’t have to have an anal fetish or be hardcore into BDSM to have anal sex. Not at all. But it can definitely be fetishized! Photos of women wearing a massive strap-on are seen to be totally fetish worthy. And there is something so sexy about a woman taking control of her partner from behind, whether the partner owns a dick or not.

Not going to lie, the first time I really admitted to myself that I was into BDSM was after my first time pegging. The power felt amazing! And he loved it too! It’s seen as taboo, purely because it goes against the traditional religious values of “sex is only for procreation”. But I think we can all agree, whether we’d consider ourselves religious or not, sex can just be for fun! It doesn’t have to result in a child nine months later! So why not explore this other hole?!

Why do people enjoy anal? – While many won’t admit it, more men than you’d think enjoy anal play. Their G-Spot is actually located up inside the rectum. So why wouldn’t you give anal play a try?! Some women also really enjoy anal play. It’s all about taking it slow at first. If you are going to give anal a go, I’d give this article on anal stretching a read. ALWAYS lube! Lots of lube is my advice!

Group Sex

Orgies can be a freeing experience
This looks like a LOT of fun

This is my personal favourite! I love group sex! Whether it’s a threesome, swinging with other couples, an orgy, or a (consensual) gang bang, group sex can be a LOT of fun! If you’re all consenting adults in a room together then it doesn’t matter how many people get in on the sexy time once you all remain safe. In article 3 of this series, I discussed using condoms when sharing toys, it’s very important to change condoms when switching partners in group sex. This may mean going through quite a few but it’s worth it! Safe sex is always key!

If you love the idea of group sex but only actually want to get physical with your partner, there’s other options. If double penetration is your fantasy, bring toys into play. Watching porn together is another way of feeling like more people are involved. Or if you’re feeling really adventurous then Skibble is a site you can use to meet other people who just want to fuck over webcam!

Why do people love group sex? – Well here’s my take on it; I just love being adored. It’s why I love being a Domme. So the more people worshipping my body at once, the better! Another plus I’ve found is, my partner and I are both Bi, but we’re not polyamorous. Swinging allows us to stay emotionally committed but get our non-monogamous sexual urges out. If you’re in a relationship, there is something about group sex that is so hot! Like unbelievably! Something about seeing your partner with someone else, while you’re also having a good time, just makes you want them even more! Myself and my partner have been known to high-five each other DURING group sex because we were enjoying it so much!

Bondage

Bondage is big
You don’t need to go as extreme as this to have fun with bondage

The B in BDSM. Bondage is when one person restrains the other. It normally features into a Dominant/Submissive scene. You don’t have to own fancy leather straps in order to try this. (You can work up to that) There are lots of items lying around you can use e.g. belts, scarves, ties, and duct tape. Be careful not to cut off circulation when restraining your partner and make sure you both are clear on the safewords/actions. I like to combine this with Sensory Play for maximum effect! Adding a blindfold into the game and playing with the senses makes the bondage that more intense. The Submissive doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. Will it be impact play (once agreed upon beforehand)? Tickling? Hot or cold play? The possibilities are devilishly endless!

Why do people love Bondage? – It’s the total power exchange. The Dominant enjoys the control they have over the Submissive and the Submissive enjoys the release of control! When you add Sensory Play into the mix, you’re adding another level of excitement. The adrenaline the Submissive receives from not knowing can be intense and thrilling and the Dominant feeds off that thrill.

Begin your exploration

These are just some of the most popular fetishes out there that are easy to try for newbies to the scene. They don’t require lots of expensive equipment which makes them easily accessible to try out. There’s nothing worse than forking out a whole wad of cash on expensive accessories, only to find out that that kink isn’t for you after all! I think these are great starting points. Some of these kinks you’ll love, some won’t be for you, some you may want to bring to the next level by adding in more intense fetishes. The key is to start gradually with BDSM and work your way up. That way you can ensure safety and not scare yourself into never trying it again. And remember the three most important things of BDSM; Safe Words/Actions, Consent, Safety!

Do you have any further questions on any of these fetishes? Has this article been helpful? Let us know in the comments below or on our Twitter post.

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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