The kink and fetish community know the difference between a Dominant and submissive person. However, some people do not know what a real switch is. I say a real switch because even though most people like the idea of being with a switch but when push comes to shove, the once dominant person can get scared and try to dominate from the bottom. That is a big NO NO and you will get punished for doing this and you will not like it at all.
However, I have found that most people do not believe that you can be both – you are either a dominant or a submissive person and you do not how to dominant because deep down you are only a submissive. EXCUSE ME. I AM A SWITCH! I can dominate as well as the next person, and if not better because I know can relate to the submissive, understand subspace and vice versa because when I am being a submissive, I know that being punished is for my own good.
The main question most people ask me is when do I know which one I want to do. The answer to this question is actually very personal and it really does depend on who you ask. However, for me, it really does depend on how I am feeling and the state of mind I am in at that particular moment in time. It also has a lot to do with the partner I am with at the time. I would not want to put any sexual partner of mine in a situation where they feel uncomfortable, just as I would wish they would have the same outlook on this as I do.
It has been said that kink and Fetish is a form of self-expression and I honestly believe this. I can hand on heart express myself when I am involved in a D/s relationship I love being both Dominant and submissive. When I am being submissive I know I am being looked after and in a safe environment. I can stop at any time using my safeword, my service to my Dominant is admiration and is giving pleasure to my Master/ Mistress. When I am being Dominant I expect my submissive to be the same towards me. Whilst participating in my kinks it can be very therapeutic for me, which I am sure a lot of people can relate to.
So to answer the question To Dominate, or to submit? Most importantly you have to listen to your own body and mind, and choose the right partner to play with. If you get that right, the rest should be easy because you will fall into what role feels natural to you.