In this article I’m going to be talking about a subject that’s very dear to my heart – because I live it! But it’s not something we talk about here too often at FFFBuzz.com. So far, we’ve focused on pure kink itself and the women in kink. Awesome, but what about the relationships our kinky women live in? Is your relationship monogamous? If it isn’t, is it ethical? And what does that look like? Ethical non-monogamous relationships come in all shapes and sizes. But in this article, I’m going to focus on swinging in relationships. How does it work? What are the pros and cons of swinging?
Why we swing
Myself and my partner swing. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s our “dirty little secret” and it’s something we find empowering! (I mean, what’s better than one person worshipping your body? More than one person, that’s what!) We’re both bisexual so this gives us the chance to embrace our sexuality but still be a couple. So far, we’ve met these coupes online through swingers’ sites. (This is the site we used) Is it nerve wracking meeting new people in the hopes of having sex with them? Of course, but so is meeting any potential new partner. We get to live the exciting “first date” experience again and again but we get to do it together.
So how did we decide to start swinging? Well as all great ideas start, we’d been out drinking. Yes, we’d just arrived home from a friend’s birthday and decided to stay up and have some fun and some more drinks. He asked me about my sexual fantasies, and I told him that my top one was to have a threesome. This got the ball rolling. We talked about making this fantasy become a reality and about the possibility of swinging. The next day, while hungover he found some dating sites and we decided to make a profile for giggles. As with any dating site, we had our fair share of time wasters and people just looking for nudes and w*nk material. But there were some really genuine people out there too.
Communication is EVERYTHING
With any relationship, communication is key! But it’s especially important when the discussion of opening that relationship up comes in to play. Before we ever met anyone, we sat down and frankly discussed our expectations, our boundaries, and our relationship. For us it was so so important to make sure that our relationship was in good shape before we even considered bringing someone else into our bedroom. We set a rule that for us swinging would be about OUR benefit and that if one of us left play time thinking more about the guest than each other, then we’d need to take a step back, pause and re-evaluate. And it happens for some swingers. We’ve met couples before where you can tell that they’re swinging to try and “fix” their relationship. Not cute!
My connection between swinging and being a Domme
I love swinging because it makes me feel so sexy and powerful! Here are this other person/people who also want to worship my body and bring me sexual pleasure. I know my partner loves me and finds me sexy. But the flattery of others finding me sexy too is addictive! Makes sense as to why I’m a Domme! I love being worshipped. It’s actually through swinging that I was able to explore my dominant side. Myself and my partner are both quite dominant people. Neither of us really submit in the bedroom and this is another bonus for swinging. When swinging we can meet people who are more submissive than us and then have our naughty way with them! While swinging I got to explore what my dominant self would look like and feel my true power! It was swinging that led me wanting to try being a Domme. We had met a submissive male and both of us dominating him was one of the hottest experiences. It was also him that gave me some tips on aftercare!
A different type of foreplay
When it comes to meeting new people, as I’ve already mentioned, we normally meet people online. Would we like to meet people more naturally? of course but it’s not as easy. We normally meet them in a bar or somewhere public for a few drinks to get to know them first. Having super-hot pictures on your profile is all well and good BUT what if that picture doesn’t belong to you? Or what if the chemistry just isn’t there? This way we get to feel if there’s something there we want to explore. It also gives all parties a chance to figure out do they want to go ahead with the fun times planned. We discuss limits and fantasies as well as safety. Condoms are sexy because STIs definitely are not!
We’re swingers, we have no interest in becoming polyamorous. We like to meet up with like minded people, get our freak on and after some after care go our merry ways. Have we made friends through swinging? Yes. Do we have any interest in dating anyone else? No, that’s just not for us. We don’t want to be romantically involved with anyone else. But that doesn’t stop us wanting to enjoy and live our sex life to its kinkiest and fullest!
What are your opinions on swinging? Have you ever tried it before? Would you like to? Leave a comment below or in our Twitter feed to let us know.