What are coping mechanism whilst practicing BDSM? And are they really healthy?

FFF-KinkTherapy


Whether its heading off for a run, going to the gym or maybe even ball busting, these are just a few examples of a coping mechanism. The word vice is just another way of saying this. However, are all coping mechanisms healthy? The simple answer, meh.

Majority of people are aware of the term ‘coping mechanism’. If not, it is a way that you cope with anger, stress, or any intense emotion. (please do not shoot me for using wiki) Wikipedia defines it as “means to invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimise or tolerate stress and conflict.”

Confusing, I know.

Let’s take it back a step and have a think of what you do when you are stressed. Have a think. Got it? Great. That is your first coping mechanism. Now it does cause you to go bankrupt? (I am not talking to finsubs in this instance) Is it dangerous? I am talking about extreme danger here. No? Then that is great, amazing even. This is referred to as your first coping mechanism or level now.

Now let’s have a harder look at how you cope with stress. Raise your hand if you have a favourite sugary treat, a glass of alcohol or anything you like to eat or drink when you’re stressed. Now be honest with yourself. (My hand is raised very high by the way) Now ask yourself do you eat/ drink consume these things without realising how stressed you are and reaching for that piece of comfort. This is a level two coping mechanism and there are the ones that can become unhealthy.

Level two coping mechanisms sneak up on people. You go for this source comfort without realising and you normally have no self-control over it. Take for instance when I am stressed I go for a walk for an hour, no more and no less. Now without realising when I was super stressed, and I mean pulling my hair out stressed, I would have some sweets and a bar of chocolate.

However, the more stressed I was the more packets of sweets and bars of chocolate I would eat. This is leading me putting on a lot of weight. As most of us know the more weight we gain, the worse your skin gets and you get more breakouts, your self-esteem lowers and then you get more stressed to do this and the cycle begins again. Now the question is how to stop it?

The first is identify your level one and level two vices.

Then really have a think of the level two vice. It may surprise you what it is. A good way to identify this is to keep a stress diary. Use it by putting down your feelings and then what you do.

The third is stopping yourself when you go for the level two vice. Now, this is the hard bit, however, here are some top tips.

  1. Keep a food stress diary, this gives you a visual aid and you know what you are consuming and can actually see first hand what you are eating.
  2. Wear a hair band around your wrist, when you’re stressed and know you’re going to eat or drink something you do not want to, pin the hair band against your wrist. This helps ground you and brings you back at the moment. Yes, you are stressed but no you do not need to keep eating or drinking or working extra hard.
  3. Mediate for two minutes a day, this is a brilliant tool and I love to meditate. Now I do not mean you have to sit in the lotus position and hum. Literally, sit or lay down and take some deep breaths for two minutes and set the timer on your phone.

These are only a few ways to help there are a lot more of course. But, you need to find out what works best for you. I hope this article has helped in some way and we can all help ourselves towards a healthier sexier sex worker lifestyle.

XOXO

Kink Therapist QB

Disclaimer; I am not a qualified therapist. I have no former qualifications in mental health. All information given in these posts are from my personal experience from working in the care industry; having being diagnosed with several mental illnesses, and having a career aimed towards helping people with mental illness.

Written exclusively for Female Fetish Federation

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